This week I had the opportunity to participate in a “speed dating” networking session with the interns working this summer at Allianz. Each time I rotated to a new table, I was met with a new table topic, new faces and new questions to address. At the last table I was asked “what advice would you give your 22 your old self based on what you know now?”. To which I responded “how much time do you have?”… kidding, but I decided this was blog worthy content so here is my answer for all of you!
Hindsight is a powerful tool and you know I am all for self-reflection, but sometimes it’s not a place I like to hang out in for too long. I think it can create put doubts in your mind and in turn, make you less confident when you return to looking forward. However, for sake of sharing this advice to my 22 year old self, I’m willing to play in the land of hindsight for just a little bit.
Dear 22 year old self,
Hi! It’s me, your 29 year old self. Obviously you know that because we are a couple of smarty pants. Speaking of pants, I like your polished and proper corporate outfit. I don’t really dress like that any more but it still makes me feel powerful when I do!
You are at an interesting time of your life. You’re a few months in to your first “real world” job and crushing it per usual. There are some really exciting things ahead for your career, but unfortunately it’s going to get bad, and then worse, before things make a turn for the better. Don’t worry - everything works out and you will be ok! Actually, better than ok!
In the next few months, you’ll be faced with some challenging opportunities. Professionally, you will start to “climb the ladder” and it will be so much fun. You will learn more than you ever have before. If (when) the rubber meets the road, remember what your ya-yaps told you and always let your light shine. Personally, you and Dane are about to embark on a few years of long distance (yes, again, and yes, because of hockey). This will be really hard on both of you but, spoiler alert, you make it through and are now more in love than you can even imagine.
Let’s go back to this career stuff for a second. We both know things will continue to unravel as God intended, but I want to remind you about who you are and what you’re here to do.
You are bigger than the “shoulds” around you. You are full of purpose. You mean something to this word. The people in your life look up to you, not because they think you’re perfect, but because of how you approach the imperfect aspects of life. No one, I repeat, no one has higher expectations for you than YOU do. Remember that and let yourself relax.
Speaking of relaxing, I know you think you don’t like yoga because it’s slow and boring, but give it a chance! You are about to go through some of the most stressful years of your life and yoga will help bring you back to earth. Don’t give me that look girl - give it a chance!
I also want you to know that your life purpose has nothing to do with achievement and “getting good grades”. Actually, they are quite separate. When you learn to show up and share your light regardless of the accomplishment or accolades, is when life will really start to get fun. You truly are a spark and so many beautiful things will happen as a result of you shining.
Keep following your curiosities. Keep asking a million questions. I know it’s hard when the questions lead to more questions instead of answers, but you’re on the right track. Trust your instincts - they are almost never wrong.
I want you to start trusting God again. I know this is a sensitive topic because you are still mad at him for taking your yayaps. I know you don’t like to be wrong but you are wrong about this one. God didn’t do this to you. This is one of your biggest blessings and soon enough you’ll know why. God didn’t abandon you, he didn’t punish you.. God is with you, always.
Ok, a few more sneak peaks into the future while we’re here. Stop eating gluten. Say yes more than you say no. Keep track of your ideas. Write down the poems in your head. Acknowledge your inner creativity. Spend time with those you love - especially Otis.
22 year old self, I am so proud of you. You are doing a great job. I love you!
Love,
Your 29 year old self