If you’ve been following along with Everme since the early days, you know that I used to post a new blog/vlog almost once a week. Lately, it’s been more like once a quarter. This week’s post is an update on what’s been going on lately with me and Everme.
In a nutshell, the first few years of my business were fast, furious and profitable. I thought all I wanted was to get to that profitable point and really “be my own boss”. That desire made the fast and the furious all worth it… until it wasn’t worth it.
In February of this year, I had a really scary and stressful life situation that made me take on a new perspective on my life and my career. If you want to read more about that, you can do so here.
What happened in this as-close-to-near-death-as-I-ever-want-to-be moment was that I realized that at the end of the day, Everme or working for someone else, was still work. I wasn’t sitting in this frightening moment thinking about my latest blog post or if I had nailed that last Instagram caption. I was thinking about my husband, my family, my friends and my clients. I was thinking about if I had done “enough” with my life so far in a way that underlined and supported my values and my relationship with God. I was thinking about how damn lucky I am just to even be sitting on a Macbook computer every now and then sharing my “first world” thoughts with people.
This new perspective of “at the end of the day, work is just work” led me to have two big questions. First, if work is just work, then how do I go beyond that and truly live out my purpose in a way greater than through my work? Second, and this one really threw me for a loop, if I had died in that moment would I be showing up to the pearly gates listing all of the things I did in my life or telling God about all of the ways I followed him? I told you I can find life lessons anywhere!
With the first question, I had to bubble my purpose up to a high enough level that I felt like it covered the entire landscape of my life - not just what I should do for work. What I ended up with was essentially that I have a light that is meant to be shared. It suddenly wasn’t as important how I share this light but that I do share it.
This ties back to the first few years of Everme being fast and furious. Fast and furious comes with a lot of compromises and sacrifices. Looking at my desire to share my light with my whole life made me realize that a lot of areas of my life had been sitting in the dark. Things that once had been so important to me had fallen by the wayside. I started to realize that my business had become something in my life I didn’t ever intend it to be - something that burned me out and took away my life balance.
So all of the above is going on and I still have the second big question I needed to chew on: “If I had died in that moment would I be showing up to the pearly gates listing all of the things I did in my life or telling God about all of the ways I followed him?”
I’m a driver. I’m a high achiever. I like to get things done efficiently and correctly. I like recognition. I like to lead and take initiative and go places where other people won’t go.
I recognize God made me this way. I wouldn’t actually want to be any other way because I do think my life is more fun and more likely to throw me life lessons this way. But, when I realized that this thing I had created, that I was 100% certain about, was still leaving me feeling dissatisfied, I knew I had to stop trying to figure everything out on my own.
I couldn’t even remember praying to God when I was burnt out. I couldn’t remember ever hearing God calling me to start a business. I’ve definitely heard him calling me to share my light with other people - which I think I do through coaching - but I wasn’t so sure I was following God. It was more like “Hey God, watch me do this. Am I making you proud?”
Anyway, I had to learn how to shut my driver side down and to listen to God. This was easier said than done.
I had to really focus on feeling the urge to control or wanting make things happen and just let them go. I had to immediately turn to prayer in those moments and ask that if that is what God wanted of me, then I would do it. If I didn’t hear back, I knew it was a “Kelsey thing” and not a “God thing”.
You will never guess where he called me. I still can barely believe it.
He reminded me of this time I heard the head of HR at Accenture speak at a networking event. It was early on in my business and watching the influence she had at her company made me feel like by leaving my big corporate jobs, I had left behind people that needed someone like me to look up to in the workplace. I actually almost started crying while listening to her speak (I guess I wasn’t listening but rather reflecting - classic). I shook it off like it was no big deal but looking back there was a time when God was calling me.
Ok, brace yourself. God called me back to the corporate world. Yeah, I couldn’t believe it either. I couldn’t fight it either because I am trying to follow, not lead. Well, I couldn’t go through with it without a little fight. I said “Ok, if I’m going to do this, I at least want to do work that is in line with what I do with Everme because take away the fast and furious factor, I still love the work I do as a coach.”
I started the job search a few months ago and just started a full-time learning and development, specifically content development, position at Allianz. I have felt like a little kid leading up to starting this job because it feels so right. While it’s scary to choose to follow when all I want to do is lead, I know this is where God needs me and my light to be.
A lot of my friends and family already know about this change in my life. One of the first questions they ask is “what about Everme?”. Everme isn’t going away. One of the reasons I started Everme in the first place was so that I would always have a platform for the work that I love to do - sharing, teaching, creating and coaching. It will never go away unless I make it go away. It is mine to approach fast and furiously or slow and steady.
Everme will look different though. Part of this whole listening to God and following his lead thing has had me rethinking what Everme is all about and the messages I want to share here. It’s not going to change overnight but it will feel different. I imagine it will feel more authentic, more raw and more real as I honor God’s call to share my light rather than my call to “be my own boss”.
What has been true throughout this entire process is how much I value all of you who tune in to what’s going on with Everme. Since day one of my business I have often been at a loss for words for how grateful I feel about the whole experience, my followers, my clients and the ability to do work that honors the gifts that God gave me.
I haven't really known how to share this journey with all of you which is why the posts have been few and far between. I needed to retreat so that I could understand what was going on with me and what God wanted me to do next. Thank you for your patience during this time.
What I want you all to take away from this update is two things: 1) You don't have to figure it all out on your own. God is ready to take the lead if you give him the chance. 2) Your life purpose is bigger than your work/career. You don't need a side business or the perfect job to fulfill your purpose. You can start now.
As I’m sitting here writing this message, my phone lit up with my “Verse of the Day” from my Bible app. As with all of the signs I get from God, this one is meant to be and also came in at the perfect time:
“Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord” Psalms 27:14.