Before my grandpa died when I was 14, my first major experience with death was when his mom died. I think I was about 3 or 4 years old. I remember everyone crying at the funeral and then for me, it was back to business as usual as a little kid. Wake up, watch barney, eat PB&J sandwiches until I turned into one, and then back to bed. In my head, grieving was something that happened at the funeral.

When my grandpa died about 10 years later, I thought “Ok, I’ll be sad at the funeral and then it’ll be easier after that”. Anyone who has ever lost anyone knows this is so not the case.

Grieving is an action and it is most definitely not a moment frozen in time. It doesn’t just happen and then it’s over. It continues on with us for our entire lives.

I once learned that the reason we can get zapped right back into that sadness is because loss can be a traumatic event. We remember trauma like it’s happening in the present day. Wow, wish I had learned that a long time ago!

So what does that say about what’s going on around us right now?

We’ve all experienced some kind of loss and grief this year. Maybe a trip (or multiple trips) was canceled due to COVID-19. Maybe the civil unrest has you questioning what you thought you knew about yourself and the world around you. Maybe you had just started looking for a new job and then networking became yet another awkward Zoom meeting. Maybe you’ve lost someone to the virus. Maybe you’ve lost your sense of self with all of this forced reflection time.

What I hope you all know is that we are still on a journey. 2020 is a part of our overall life mural but the painting isn’t over yet. We will probably always feel sadness for this year, but as with all the dark times, the sun will rise again.

Thinking of all of you and sending love and light your way!

Love,

Kelsey